i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
