I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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