so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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