I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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