im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
