The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
