I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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