There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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