I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
