Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
