I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
