1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
