so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
