So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
tell me about the fingering
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