She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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