I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The power of my boobs compel you
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
