I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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