Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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