After last night, I could never be a politician.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
