It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
