p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
