I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
