your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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