420 ftw
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
