If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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