their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
