I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
