i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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