Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
one might say we're banned from that church
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
