Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
love makes seman taste better
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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