sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
