All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
