Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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