she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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