Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
