I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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