Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
