for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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