everyone is single if you try hard enough
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
