don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
