his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize