oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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