plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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