so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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