The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
