Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize