Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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