Don't make out with my wife yet
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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