i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
