This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
