Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize