No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
