yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Dear god my vagina.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
