Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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