i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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