mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
