I want to make a zoo with you.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he thought i was a dude.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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