I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
