Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
