i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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